It is a question that we get all the time, here at Stella Singles. How long do I wait, before getting intimate with the person I’m with? When is too soon? Might the other person feel I’m not interested if I want to wait?
Of course, there is no easy answer to this question. In fact, there is no right answer to this question. It all depends on the type of relationship you are in and the personal feelings the two of you have.
The best course of action is to communicate your feelings, though that can often be awkward. Still, it is the best way to come to an understanding. No matter the problem, communication is the key to clarity. Express your feelings, and allow the other person to express theirs. Most importantly, don’t feel obligated to do anything you don’t want to do, and at the same time accept the fact that your partner’s views may differ, possibly drastically, from your own. Once you come to an understanding you can move on in your relationship with a clearer vision of the future.
With that said, chances are most first dates aren’t going to include a discussion of when one can expect sexual intimacy to incorporate itself into the relationship. Instead, it just has to happen naturally. Some people are more inclined to intimate connections than others. Some may feel comfortable diving right in on the first date. Others may wish to wait, for a variety of reasons. Whichever side you fall on, just be aware that your date may not feel the same way. Therefore, don’t apply any pressure.
Some will suggest that three or four dates is the minimum amount necessary before sex should enter the conversation. Use this time to learn about your date and to see what he/she is all about. From this conversation you should be able to decipher how quickly or slowly they plan on taking the relationship. You can also take this time to make your feelings on the matter clear – though again, we recommend you not apply too much pressure else risk scaring the other person away.
Lastly, it is important to keep in mind that intimacy doesn’t necessarily have to mean sex. Try taking it slow, gradually advancing with each passing day. If something becomes uncomfortable say so – don’t just let it go. Let things progress naturally, and you will find that once intimacy does occur, it will be more meaningful.
Of course, there is no easy answer to this question. In fact, there is no right answer to this question. It all depends on the type of relationship you are in and the personal feelings the two of you have.
The best course of action is to communicate your feelings, though that can often be awkward. Still, it is the best way to come to an understanding. No matter the problem, communication is the key to clarity. Express your feelings, and allow the other person to express theirs. Most importantly, don’t feel obligated to do anything you don’t want to do, and at the same time accept the fact that your partner’s views may differ, possibly drastically, from your own. Once you come to an understanding you can move on in your relationship with a clearer vision of the future.
With that said, chances are most first dates aren’t going to include a discussion of when one can expect sexual intimacy to incorporate itself into the relationship. Instead, it just has to happen naturally. Some people are more inclined to intimate connections than others. Some may feel comfortable diving right in on the first date. Others may wish to wait, for a variety of reasons. Whichever side you fall on, just be aware that your date may not feel the same way. Therefore, don’t apply any pressure.
Some will suggest that three or four dates is the minimum amount necessary before sex should enter the conversation. Use this time to learn about your date and to see what he/she is all about. From this conversation you should be able to decipher how quickly or slowly they plan on taking the relationship. You can also take this time to make your feelings on the matter clear – though again, we recommend you not apply too much pressure else risk scaring the other person away.
Lastly, it is important to keep in mind that intimacy doesn’t necessarily have to mean sex. Try taking it slow, gradually advancing with each passing day. If something becomes uncomfortable say so – don’t just let it go. Let things progress naturally, and you will find that once intimacy does occur, it will be more meaningful.
Copyright © 2010-2013 by Stella Singles LLC. All rights reserved.
Comments
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
