Life Advice
So, I'm tired of hearing this over and over again. You have these people who, just because they came out of a long-term marriage or relationship, think they have the right to judge a person who's single and over 30, or 40 for that matter. Worse yet, you have those married people who've been out of touch with being single for so long that they seem to avoid a single person at all costs.

What's wrong with them? That's the question we should be asking ourselves. It's time discrimination against singles came to an end and people were more aware of the challenges that singles face every day.

It's not because you're married (and who knows how well you're doing anyway in your 'so-called' marriage) or because you just divorced (and who knows why), that you have the right to be judgmental.

People have all kinds of reasons for being single in their 30s and 40s!

Maybe they were with someone in a long relationship that didn't work out. Maybe they were busy building their career and didn't really focus on their dating life. And maybe they were trying to learn more about themselves and deepen their spirituality in order to become a better person and attract a good partner.

Bottom line is, if a married or a recently divorced person think they have the right to judge or avoid a single person, it says more about them than about you. If you were mean and judgmental like them, you could easily ask the same question back. Were they so desperate that they jumped on the first partner that came along in their life? Or did they, or their partner, cheat on them and they divorced?

But we don't want to be like that and we don't want to be mean. All we're asking is to have respect for our paths, as everyone's path is different. You can have a married person living the most dysfunctional family life or you can have a single person that's contributing a whole lot to our society.

Fact is, a lot of it is a draw of luck. And some people make choices that may not agree with yours. Discriminating against someone because they are, according to your standards, single when they shouldn't be, is like discriminating against a person of color or against the other sex. There is really no difference in it and the judgment call is plain not true! Instead of separating people into brackets, we need to listen to their needs and desires and see if we can reconcile those with ours in a balanced way. You may have succeeded in one thing, but you may be lacking in another. It's all very relative and so it's really stupid to think that someone above 30 necessarily has problems. If you live in Los Angeles, for instance, it may be harder to meet someone for a serious relationship than if you live in a small town in the Midwest. Or if you travel a lot, you may not have the time and the stability factor for something long term. And maybe you just haven't met the right person.

Let's be all open minded and inclusive. This will make for a better world and for more connectedness among people.

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