Dating Advice For Women
Dating when you're younger (teenager or college-aged) can be complicated, sure. Love may be a relatively new emotion, and maybe you don’t know how to deal with it. What do I do? What do I say? What can’t I do? What can’t I say? Ultimately though, for most of us, dating when younger is more or less practice for when we get older. Now, of course, there are some high school/college sweethearts out there who have been together forever, and to those people I say “good for you.” You are the lucky ones who found Mr. or Mrs. Right early on in your life. The rest of us, well the search goes on.

Not everyone found Mr. or Miss Right during their days as an undergrad. Most of us experimented and dated, I’d bet, but ultimately as our lives changed, post-graduation, so did our love-lives. No longer was dating about ONLY fun and excitement. Commitment and long-term are ideas that begin to trickle into our dating mind-sets, as we look forward into the future. “Is this someone I can see myself with for the rest of my life?” “Do I really LOVE this person?” “Are they the ONE for me?”

Our motto is, if you aren’t sure, then don’t rush in. If you don’t feel that the person you’re with is hands down the best possible match for you, then don’t try to trick yourself into believing it. You may be thinking, “Well I have to settle down some time, right? I can’t be dating for the rest of my life.” True, but there is no sense in throwing in the towel and settling if you aren’t happy. If you start on unstable terrain, there is always the chance that you might fall, sometimes quite far down the mountain.

It is important, first and foremost, to understand when you hit that point in your life. It isn’t necessarily the day after you graduate, maybe it is 2, 3, 5 years down the road. Maybe it isn’t until you’re much older, 20-30 years after you finish school – it all depends. When you decide that you’re ready to “seriously date” though, then you need to take it… well seriously. Dating is a lot of fun, when you don’t necessarily expect anything out of it. Dating should also be fun when you’re looking for something serious too, it just can’t be 100% about the fun, as perhaps it has been in the past.

It’s a scary thing to consider, and oftentimes can turn a lot of fun into a lot of pain. A great relationship with a great person, full of fun and excitement, can turn sour very quickly if one person is thinking long-term when the other person isn’t. If you’re the person thinking long-term you have two choices. First, you can move on – right then and there. “I love you, but I need to know that I’m moving towards something serious. I’m looking to start a life and family with someone, and I need to know that the person I’m with is in it for the long haul.” On the other hand, you could try to wait. “Hey, I’m having fun and I’m with a great person. Even though I want something very serious with this person, they obviously don’t right now. I’ll wait a while though, in hopes that their mind eventually changes.

It’s like playing Russian Roulette. You take that leap of faith and hope it works out. Either you leave, in hopes that it was the right decision – or you stay for the same reason. In our minds, it is all about putting your life in perspective. You may have had a plan when you were younger to marry by a certain age, have kids by a certain age or buy a house at a certain age. The fact of the matter is, however, that things often change. Now, you can get upset about it or you can adjust your plans. You only get once chance at life. It isn’t perfect, as we all know, but that doesn’t mean that all is lost either.

We’re curious, have you ever been in a situation like this? Have you ever wanted to say “wait…what are YOU in this relationship for? I’m in it for something serious.” Have you ever been forced to end an otherwise beautiful relationship because of an issue like this? We would love for you to share your story with us. Post a note at the bottom of this article. If you’re prefer to remain anonymous that is just fine too, the important thing is that you share your store – so that others can benefit from your wisdom.

Thanks so much everyone, and as always “Happy Dating!”

Copyright © 2010-2015 by Stella Singles LLC. All rights reserved.

Comments

Jill
It is a sad subject, but yes - I have been in that situation before. I didn't want to wait, I wanted to be in a serious relationship. Unfortunately the guy that I was with, wasn't concerned with the future and wanted to just "see how things went." I tried for a long time to put it out of my head and just go with the flow, enjoying the time I had with him. However, over time I kept feeling that if we weren't moving toward something serious - then we weren't moving forward at all. In the end, I told him I had to move on - it hurt soooo much, but I feel it was what I had to do at that time. Now I'm with another wonderful guy, and we're taking about getting married in the next year.
It was a hard decision, but it was what I wanted. I had to be true to myself.
Nov 4th 2012
 





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