Dating Advice For Women
When I use the word player, I mean a guy who isn’t serious about a long-lasting relationship.  He enjoys the thrill of the chase, he enjoys the excitement of budding love, and he works hard to get passed the proverbial front gate to enjoy the physical aspects of love and dating.  Once he’s gotten what he wants though, he’s usually out the door and on to his next conquest.  Players tend not to make great boyfriends.  There are certainly exceptions to this rule, but cases of player turned serious boyfriend aren’t as common as the movies might have you believe.  In fact, in my mind, the mentality that a woman can change a man from a ladies-man player extraordinaire to a stay-at-home loving boyfriend is an extremely dangerous thought to have.

Think about it; how do “players” get beyond a woman’s defenses and into her…bedroom?  They pretend to be interested, they shower their target with affection, and they profess their undying love.  Well, maybe not their undying love, but you can get my point.  Players, the good ones anyway, are good at what they do.  They know what buttons to press to get what they want.  The problem is, as a woman, how can you tell if the guy you’re dating is expressing true feelings and emotions or if it is all just part of his act?  How can you truly know if you’ve started to change him?  On the one hand, you might be right, and he might slowly be transforming his ways, but on the other hand, maybe he’s just fooling you into believing that that is the case.

I’m sorry for putting it so bluntly, but in the real world – that is the case.  You won’t know, most of the time, until it is too late.  So, is the dating picture really that dreary for women?  How are we ever supposed to open up our hearts to love a man if we always suspect him of being a player…or a cheater…or a jerk?

Well, some women would say: “don’t worry about it.  Have fun, and if he turns out to be a jerk – so be it.  You’ll have fun in the mean-time at least.”  Other women would disagree and say: “You should worry about it.  Get to know as much about his past as you can to see if he has a history of being a player.  In addition, don’t ‘give it up’ right away.  Make him work at it.  If he is really interested he’ll stick around, if all he wanted was…you know…he’ll probably quit when it becomes clear you aren’t looking for a short-term fling.”

So, either you play it safe or you take a leap of faith.  I think this decision mostly depends on your personality, but keep in mind that you could get jaded if you get too many heart breaks from players. I think what’s most important is cultivating your intuition or gut feeling and listening to it when it knocks on your door. And while life is richer when you finally experience love, you still need to protect your heart. After all, you can give the most love if you have it in you!   

I am a firm believer that there is (at least) one person out there for everyone.  No matter your gender, age, sexual orientation, personal beliefs, dating styles, personality…it doesn’t matter.  No matter how weird or different you think you are, there is someone out there made just for you.  It is just a matter of meeting them and watching the love grow.

I hope this article has been helpful.  Let me know if you think otherwise.  What did we miss?  What should we have added?  Or, what did we get right?  Tell us your stories, of both success and failure.  Remember, Stella Singles is a COMMUNITY and we appreciate everyone’s input.

Happy Dating!

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