Dating & Wellness Advice
This is a very sensitive subject.  How do you tell the person that you’re with, the person that you love, that they’re gaining weight?  You don’t want to be mean about it, and your intention certainly isn’t to hurt your significant other’s feelings, still the words may be received as harsh no matter how you say them.

From your perspective, these words are coming from a place of concern and love.  You care about your significant other and don’t want to see them live an unhealthy life.  On the other hand, you’re essentially calling someone else fat.  No matter how well you sugar coat it, that is always going to be a little uncomfortable.  Still, if it truly is an issue then something needs to be said.

The problem, as I’ve experienced it, is that the longer a relationship lasts the more comfortable two people become with one another.  First it’s a slip up here or there.  Leaving dirty laundry around the house, or leaving the toilet seat up.  Simple things that, during the early stages of a relationship certainly wouldn’t be acceptable.  Then, these slip ups happen more and more often.  “I don’t need to impress my girlfriend/boyfriend all the time.  They’ll understand; we’re in love after all.”

When you’re trying to impress someone you go out of your way to appear clean and polite and cool.  As the days/months/years go by however, you become complacent and put less and less effort into maintaining these appearances.

Case in point: how healthy we eat and how active we are.  What do you do when you’re single and looking for a new boyfriend/girlfriend?  Do you sit at home and eat in front of the television every night?  Do you let your stomach bloat and your chin double?  Do you ignore your physical appearance?  Of course you don’t.  You hit the gym, you eat healthy, and you jog on the weekends.  You work your butt off, so that you can appear attractive to the opposite sex.

So, back to my original point; you’ve been dating for a while, and your partner has become complacent, and as a result has packed on a few pounds.  It’s natural, nothing to be concerned with – after all it’s never too late to turn it around.   You want to mention it to your partner, but are concerned with how they will react.  After all, you wouldn’t want someone else to tell you that YOU were getting chubbier.  So, what can you do?  Well…I’m glad you asked.

1)      Though it isn’t the easiest thing to do, vocalizing your concerns IS the best way to begin solving this problem.  Understand that you may be met with some anger or denial.  Don’t take anything personal; just understand that it’s embarrassing and scary for your partner to think about.  Make sure your partner knows that you’re coming from a place of love and concern and that you only want what’s best for them.

2)      No one wants to be told what to do, so don’t TELL your partner that he/she MUST start exercising or eating right.  Let them make the decision themselves.  Let them actually say the words.  It will be more meaningful, and it will hold more weight if they feel they’ve made a declaration of weight loss on their own

3)      Lastly, don’t let your partner go at it alone.  Show your support and promise to be with them every step of the way.  Chances are, a healthier lifestyle couldn’t hurt you either.  This also allows for some great bonding experiences as you share jogs or gym time together.  Cook healthy for/with one another.  Show that no matter what, you’re beside them.  Always caring, always in love.

The golden rule in terms of weight loss is it’s never too late.  If you’re serious, you can always turn things around.  In addition, ALWAYS keep safety in mind.  It can be easy to get carried away, as you look for a get-thin quick scheme.  Give it time though, and you will see results.  Perhaps even consult the advice of your doctor.  See what he/she thinks are some healthy safe options you can pursue. 

You only get one life, so make it count.  Be happy and be healthy.

Happy Dating.

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