Self Help For Singles
You can’t always get what you want - a very unfortunate, but a very real fact of life.  It doesn’t seem fair sometime, why things don’t go your way … but ultimately there isn’t much you can do about it.  However, there is a silver lining.  As they say “without defeat, victory wouldn’t taste as sweet.”  Without loss to compare it to, how would we know what victory feels like?  Without bad, there can be no good.  Anyway, the purpose of this post isn’t to get into a deep psychological debate over good and bad, but instead to discuss some ways to leap out of your sorrow and back into the bright light of optimism.

I am a firm believer that eventually, everything will work out the way it is supposed to.  Call it faith, call it karma, call it whatever you want … I just feel the world has a way of evening everything out in the end.  When you don’t get that great job you worked so hard to get, it just means there is something better out there for you.  When your boyfriend of three years all of a sudden decides he’s going to break up with you, it means he’s probably not the guy you thought he was and thus separating is a good idea.  When your car sputters and stalls on the highway, causing you to pull over and call AAA … well, that just means that you were way overdue for an oil change.

In the grand poker game we call life, sometimes you get dealt a losing hand.  What do you do when this happens?  Do you quit the game?  Do you try and bluff your way into a victory?  Or, do you cut your losses, fold the hand, and live to fight another day? As they say “you need to know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.” It is important to appreciate your life when things are going well.  Do you have a roof over your head?  Do you have food in your refrigerator?  Do you have a steady job?  Even if you aren’t at the top, are you higher than you were a year ago?  Perhaps not as fast as you’d like, but are you progressing?  Have you moved on?  It’s questions like these that you need to ask yourself whenever failure rears its ugly head and delivers that icy cold stare.  Don’t let failure get you down.  Think of it as a speed bump, not a brick wall.  You can - and will - get past it. It’s just a matter of time.

When I’m down in the dumps, there are a few things that I like to do to perk up my spirit.  Some good, some not so good. One of the good ones: exercising.  I love hiking and biking; anything that gets me outside.  I enjoy walking in the park, taking my dogs for a jog, hitting the trails with some friends, or even just lounging on my back patio watching the birds fly by.  It’s remarkable how much better you can feel with nothing but a change of scenery.  Take some time to gather your thoughts and plan your next move. 

On the flip side, one of the bad things I tend to do when I’m bummed out is eat.  Eating is comfortable to many people, including myself.  When you’re upset or depressed, you may feel that the rest of the world just has it in for you.  Though it may not actually be the case, you feel like everything is just crumbling around you.  Well, in most cases that isn’t true, and deep down inside you know it.  Still, it’s nice to wallow in the dumps sometimes – disregarding what you know you should/need to do and just do what you want.  The danger, of course, is that depression eating can cause many serious health risks.  My solution: do some cooking.  You’ll get to eat, but you’ll also be making a meal for you and a loved one to share.  Over dinner, you can talk about what you’re going through, and seek help or advice. 

Never…and I mean NEVER feel that you’re alone.  No matter the cause, there is never a situation where you won’t have anyone to turn to.  It might not always be pretty, and you might not always want to talk to that person – but nonetheless someone exists who can help.  Take StellaSingles.com for example.  Have a dating/relationship issue you want to discuss?  Do you have burning questions about the opposite sex as it pertains to love that you’re just dying to ask?  Well, here is your chance.  StellaSingles.com was developed with YOU in mind.  Seriously.  We’re a network of people, ready and willing to help a fellow member.  So, don’t be shy – reach out.

Be Happy!

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