Dating Advice For Men & Women
Cheating is one of the most painful things that can happen in a relationship. And as hurtful as the discovery of infidelity is, what's worse is the downfall afterwards. While everyone reacts differently to these situations, the pain doesn't fade quickly. It's likely that you'll be filled with feelings of anger, sadness and betrayal for some time. 

To make matters even harder, the person you used to turn to when faced with such a heavy emotional burden is the same person who caused you to feel this way. You used to run to them for comfort in your darkest times, and now it's as if they're a total stranger. 

Even though the answers probably won't make you feel better, it's normal that you'll try to work through the confusion by asking your partner a lot of questions. They can tell you who it was, when it happened and give you details describing everything that happened. But regardless of how honest they are when they come clean, their previous lies taint everything they say. And unfortunately, the one question that will likely weigh the heaviest on your mind is one that they might not even be able to answer: Why did they cheat? 

While the answer varies from person to person, there are some answers that are more common. The adult product site Adameve.com recently conducted a study with 1,000 adults to explore the reason why they cheated. After asking the participants, they reported the following: 

"Many cheaters cite the excuses expected (“sexual boredom,” 20%; “I was lonely,” 23%; “I fell in love,” 16%), nearly 45% said “It just happened,” and 33% said because “it was exciting.” Respondents were allowed to choose multiple answers, and other excuses included 8% with “I thought I could get away with it,” and 6% with “I felt I deserved it.”"

These are all answers that likely will make you feel worse if you hear from someone you love.

What's important to remember after you've experienced infidelity is that you are not responsible for someone else's actions. Unfortunately you can do everything right in a relationship and still experience infidelity at some point. In fact, incidents of cheating have steadily become more common. Psychcentral.com cited a 2005 study conducted by researchers Blow & Hartnett that compiled research of cheating that dated back to 1981. Back then, 10% of the participants admitted to cheating. Between 1991 and 1996, that number jumped to 13%. Conclusive to the finding by Adam & Eve and the Psych Central, today's numbers are around 25-35%. 

While you can't control another person's decisions, PsychologyToday.com suggests that there are some ways that you can help prevent infidelity in your relationship. 

First, they suggest "Emphasize Love and Caring." Communicate your love both vocally and through your actions. It will increase your partner's feeling of connectedness.

Second, they state that you should try enhancing your physical appearance. The main focus here was not just the way you look, but your confidence. The better you look, the better you feel. And when you feel good, you're more likely to want to attract your partner's attention. 

Third, they recommend "rewarding" your partner. What they mean is that you should make sure that your partner knows you are appreciative for everything they do. A surprise gift, some kind words, or any small gesture will help them feel valued. 

The most important thing is that you go into a relationship being able to trust the person and that you practice positive communication. Although you might be bombarded with scary statistics about cheating, there's no reason to be suspicious of your partner unless they've given you a reason to do so. Trust them, and trust your gut. If they're doing the same, you're most likely on your way to a happy and healthy life together.

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